hot dogs heal all wounds

You know, it is a little embarrassing to admit this, but I was lost all Saturday in IKEA. I don't mean the usual IKEA-lost where you go because you need a cheap coffee table (LACK), but the damn store layout takes you by the pointless children's section and potted plant section and kitchenware section and you wonder if you are going crazy because stores usually have aisles and you think, "Wait, have I been by the candle section before? Have I made a big circle?" but then you come out into the Home Depot section where you can actually buy stuff and you realize you are almost out and not lost anymore. Not that kind of lost.

Jesus-on-a-donkey, I mean that I was actually lost. They make those IKEAs too damn big. I was there for 10 hours, and I never even found my coffee table. Every time I asked somebody dressed in blue and yellow for help, they just laughed and handed me a golf pencil. It was like a Swedish version of Cube. However, did you know that Ikea has 50 cent hot dogs? They may have been shot a few times before they are served, but when you eat one, it is like there is an after-party in your mouth, and shorties sip Bacardi, or however the song goes.

dls