home is where the heartless

Happy Fuck Turkey's Day everyone. This is a solemn occasion when we give thanks to the Indians for showing us the easiest bird to catch since the pinata. We return to our parent's houses, so they can cook and clean for us like old times, and we sit around and laugh about the sanctioned genocide, cursing the turkeys for doping us up on trip-toe-fan, like it was their fault we roasted them in an oven with an onion in their ass.