chains keep ghosts from floating away

Well, it has been a difficult week living with Marley, the ghost in our linen closet. It isn't the boo-scares, or the heavy iron chains that he drags around (which have scratched up our wood floors worse than lumberjacks promoting Nike's new Axe Jordans) -- it is his constant pro-vegan soapboxing. I mean, come on man -- how can a vengeful spirit be against the killing of the innocent? Not to mention that he doesn't have to eat, so it is a lot easier for him to be vegan. Stop with all the "meat is murder" propaganda and let me eat my Roasted Baby Corn in peace.

dls