i'm torn between black ice and pitch bling

OK, so I'm the Thomas Edison of bad ideas, but this time, I have a money-making scheme that can prove fools. You know how there are reverse-trends when something gets too popular, like when disco got replaced by heavy 80's metal, or European men started wearing capri pants because Americans were so tall? Well dude, what would you pay to get in on the first anti-bling? It emits bling-cancellation frequencies, like a pair of expensive headphones. When you wear my bling, you shine LESS. It is like wearing a black hole so powerful, it bends the rules of cool.

That's right, I have invented ninja-bling. Ninjas can't go sacrificing all that stealth they worked so hard for. Like, say Ryu, the feared Dragon-assassin of Osaka, wanted to kill a guy and look awesome at the same time, but got his bling all tied up in his shuriken, and then his target noticed his ice winking from his hiding-place in the shadows. That would be a pretty bad spot for a senior-ranking ninja. I HAVE JUST SOLVED THAT PROBLEM.

If you want a position in my company, please send me a resume. Be advised -- you must have at least 5 years of bling experience or a doctorate in Dre.

dls