bruce leevi's?

OK, so when I was a kid, it was definitely not cool to wear Converse. I was like the only kid in my school who didn't have inflatable pump shoes, or lightable shoes that ninjas... eschewed. I had Chuck Taylors. That my mom bought me. From an outlet store.

So believe me, I'm a bit worried that kids are growing up thinking that CT's are so, like, HIP now. Pretty soon, they'll be adults with kids of their own, and remembering how they owed their childhood popularity to Converse, they'll force them on their poor offspring, but the ever-turning wheel-of-cool will have spun around again, and their children will be laughingstocks because everybody else at school has Laser Jordans.

Anyway, I'm thinking that there is clearly only one way to save children from unpopularity, and that is to replace Chuck Taylors with an even dorkier Chuck, so parents are never fooled. That is right folks, the Chuck Norris needs to be made. No kid would wear shoes shaped like fists that had little minature beards on them. No parent would BUY a shoe that encouraged children to use karate to solve their problems. The round-house kick is dangerous in the wrong hands, and the last thing you need is your child in a coffin because he did "back-cuts" in the line for the water fountain, and some angry bully side-swiped his head like a grandma driving in a parking lot.

dls