my monkey doesn't know the sign for compromise

Tim-tim is totally a liar. When he first moved in, he assured me that he was potty-trained. His exact words were, "toilet toilet use me use me me." In fact, all he really does is throw his feces at the toilet, and believe me, his aim is horrible. I would kick him out, but he paid his rent for the month up front, and I would feel bad asking him to leave.

Currently, I am resorting to passive-aggressive tactics, like leaving dirty dishes in the sink, or complaining all the time about his lice problem, but then saying it isn't really a big deal since he can't help it with all his body hair. You may call me a coward for not confronting him with my complaints, but remember that a monkey clever enough to learn sign-language and earn $500 in rent money is not a monkey you want angry at you.

dls