can koalas drive cars?

I'm pretty sure I saw a koala bear behind the wheel of one of those PT Cruisers today. Man, remember when those cars were like everywhere? That was such a short time ago, and now it's like we sent them all back in time to the 1980s with all the other ugly things that were popular. Face it man, the 80s were an ugly decade. I hate people who say they like "the 80s look:" from Metallica to The Smiths, everybody was ugly. It's like we collectively went blind for 10 years. 15 actually -- the early 90s had a number of MC Hammer fashion casualties as well.

Anyway, I'm serious about the koala though. My friend said it was probably a man in a koala suit, like a mascot for San Jose State driving to a game, but I'm not sure. The koala looked pretty koala-sized, which is smaller than man-sized (although comprable to midget-sized). Perhaps it was a midget in a koala suit who didn't have time to take off his costume after the San Jose State basketball game because he had to get to his sister's wedding. Maybe he had a little tux on underneath his koala suit. Man, that would be awesome. A little midget in a tuxedo.

Oh man, you know what else would be awesome? A KOALA in a tuxedo. Dude, can you imagine some koala wedding where the groom had a little tux on? Yeah you can.

Well, I guess it was either a midget dressed as a koala, or a koala with opposable thumbs who was trained to steal cars by his unscrupulous owner, but escaped to America to make a living for himself and one day earn enough money to buy his family out of car-stealing slavery. One of those two options. Judging from the number of eucalyptus trees I see planted here in California, I think a koala could survive quite easily if he knew how to steal cars and climb trees. I guess it is a toss-up.



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