1.03.2005

are leprechauns people?

I'm still holding out hope that my leprechaun is just hibernating for the winter grizzled-bear-style, but I am a bit worried about the legal ramifications of a leprechaun death. Can a leprechaun family sue for damages? If I suffocated my leprechaun -- this is completely hypothetical, of course, since my leprechaun is just Snow-Whiting the night away -- is it considered murder? I'm pretty sure you can only get the death penalty if you murder another person and you did it really meanly, and I wasn't being mean: I was only withholding airholes until I got my three wishes.

Anyway, motive doesn't even matter if the court rules that leprechauns aren't people, since then I can't be tried for murder and they'd have to get me on treason to put me to death. I am a little worried, since there are a few precedents that do not bode well for me. For example, the courts have ruled time and again that the Irish are actually people. They have also ruled midgets as people in a few cases. Soylent Green is people. If you have an opinion on my case, I could use the help. Hypothetically, I mean.

dls

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