my roommate is a trained monkey

So my old roommate moved out a while ago to study marine biology in Hawaii for a few months. He left a whole bunch of his stuff too, because he said he was hoping to move back in for the summer, but then I saw him a few days ago working at "Hot Dog on a Stick" at the mall. He had on one of those red-yellow-white-blue striped get-ups with the matching funny hat, and he didn't look particularly happy about his job. I was going to ask him what the hell he was doing in California, but then this really overweight woman came over and started yelling at him about how he mixed the lemonade wrong and it was mostly syrup. I think she was the manager, because she was wearing the same striped color pattern, but she didn't have the hat, and she had a little laminated name tag and a ring of keys, which she probably uses to lock the cages of the employees when they aren't working.

Man, was she fat. She had these pants with the same striped pattern, only they were stretchy sweat pants, probably because the company didn't have regular pants with seams in her size. And to make matters worse, she was so big, the other employees behind the counter couldn't get by her while she stood there. She was like a tiny road block sitting behind the counter, yelling about lemonade, with my roommate on one side looking sheepish, and like three employees on the other side all in the same striped clothing, holding buckets of ice, which I assume was for diluting the lemonade my roommate screwed up.

Oh man, I got all side-tracked. The real story is that I decided my roommate wouldn't be coming back, so I found someone else to live with for a few months. Unfortunately, he is a trained monkey. His name is Tim-tim and he speaks sign language, which is cool, but he ate every damn banana in the house and hasn't bought more, which is totally not cool.



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