thin mints are not as good as everyone says

Whew, I had to go to traffic school today, which is like regular school except people aren't impressed when you tell them you graduated. The best part was sitting next to an ice cream man who had converted his freezer-mobile into a giant soft-serve ice cream, hoping children would hail his vehicle as a god, like those kids who worshipped the giant Moon Pie in "Honey, I Shrunk a Bunch of Stuff." Unfortunately, he got arrested for making a car that looked like a coiled crap. Chocolate was pretty much the worst flavor he could have chosen.

Which reminds me -- you know how little girls sometimes dress like poops? I mean, parents have to lie and tell their kids that Santa made them "brownie" girl scouts because he ran out of green fabric (he isn't being mean, it is just that the elves wear a lot of XXL sizes, and what can he do? It would be hypocritical to put THEM on a diet), but I hope those kids ask themselves, "Who buys cookies from squeaky turds?"

Also, I think little girls sound a lot like mice.



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