my roommate is a vampire, part one

A few months ago I saw a homeless guy who looked like Jesus putting change in expired parking meters so people who left their cars for too long wouldn't get ticketed. I was touched and my heart grew three sizes that day, which saved Christmas for all those Whos in Whoville, even though it was July. I felt that the world would be a better place if such a man were named president of the solar system, and he were given a never-ending cup of coins with which to right the wrongs of our society -- replacing the money a little boy lost to a broken vending machine, rescuing a check-out lady at the grocery store where a customer paid three dollars for an item that cost $2.03, filling an abandoned skyscraper with coins so that I can swim in it like Scrooge McDuck from Duck Tales, just like I have always dreamed. Not that it has to be money -- we all just dream of swimming through a larger-than-usual amount of SOMEthing. Isn't that why we all loved the ball pits at Chuck E. Cheese? Mud wrestling? A room full of balloons?

Anyway, long story short, he is now my roommate, and I think he is a vampire. I'll explain tomorrow.



Post a Comment

<< Home