guns are for losers

Ever since I began living with a vampire roommate, I have become very aware of my own mortality. The fragile shell that houses my soul is like a delicate and beautiful flower. Because of that, I am learning to use a sword in case I ever need to defend myself. It is better to be prepared, right? And the way I figure, so many people have watched a Rambo or Dirty Harry marathon on TNT, nobody is afraid of guns any more. People see 50 Cent mumbling like he's Muhammad Ali, and they say, "Didn't that guy get shot a bunch of times? Isn't he now rich and famous now? Does that mean I need to be shot to get ahead?"

So the sword thing. I think people still get freaked out when someone spazzes out with a katana in their hand. If a dude is swinging a switchblade, people are falling all over themselves to be the first to shout in an Australian accent, "You call that a KNOIFE?!" But when a guy is holding a full-blown sword, damn you better step back, because he's either crazy or a ninja. Plus, bullets can't kill everything. For example, I would be able to take on the Highlander, should he ever mistake me for an immortal. More importantly, I could drive it through the heart of an enraged vampire who didn't pay his goddamn rent on time... again.



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