hallmark is probably responsible for halloween too

Marley, my pet ghost in the linen closet, has gotten really picky about his food lately. To be honest, I'm not sure if he needs to eat, but my parents taught me the basic needs of pets, and one of them is food in a bowl shaped so they can't knock it over and violate the 5-second rule. Until they come out with the "Ghostbusters Guide to Feeding a Ghost that Looks like it Starred in Pac-Man," I'll stick to what I know.

He has no hands or mouth that I can see, but the bowl of Alpo disappears all the same. This is all pure speculation on my part, because I don't have a degree in biology, but my guess is it is on his underside, like a jellyfish or octopus. He lowers himself like a magician's handkerchief over an outstretched hand, and when he rises up, *poof*, the food has vanished.

Anyway, it used to be Alpo, because Oedipus the dog eats that too. Now though, he'll only eat Halloween-themed things. For example, he won't eat a porterhouse steak, but he'll eat a bowl of candy corn. He won't eat an orange, but he will if I draw a carved-pumpkin face on it with a Sharpie. Right now I'm just sprinkling his dog food with Boo Berries.

It is annoying, but I just tell myself it could be worse -- I could be living with an undead vegan.



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